My Grandfathers Axe

Thought Experiment: My Grandfather’s Axe

If you’ve never seen the movie John Dies at the end, I now formally invite you to take part in this amazing movie. I bring it up, because if you’ve seen it you’re familiar with My Grandfathers Axe.

If not, get ready to take a little dive in the deep end with me.

It’s a simplification of the Theseus’ Ship Paradox. If you want more information google it because it’s quite a wonderful trip. But we’re going to deal with the very simplified version for the sake of ease here.

My Grandfather had an axe

My grandfathers axe was handed down to me from my dad, which was handed down to him from his father.

After my grandfather gave it to my dad, my dad had to replace the handle as the wood had become old and split.

After my dad passed it down to me, I had to replace the head of the axe with new metal.

So here’s the question. Is it still my grandfathers axe? Both pieces of the axe had been totally replaced. He never owned any of the pieces of the axe. So was it still “My grandfathers axe”?

Thesues’ Ship goes along similar lines, but deals with an entire ship, being replaced one plank at a time over the years.

It’s a wonderful thought experiment that philosophers have debated over. Some saying it is, some saying it isn’t. The smart ones not picking an either or, but more of a both. A thing can be both changed and unchanged. But more on that in a moment.

You can’t step foot in the same stream twice

Along these lines we have the idea of not being able to step in the same stream twice. Let’s say you live next to a beautiful picturesque creek called Experiment Creek. It’s a lovely summer day, the grass is lush and you slip on down to take a nice little walk through it. Slowly feeling every moment of every footstep through it. A quiet warm and whispering breeze brushing your face.

You love Experiment Creek. The moments there are wonderful.

But Experiment Creek is just a name. It’s a name for something you enjoy.

In an alternate reality, it’s just a body of running water. Every footstep you take you’re stepping in to a different body of water, molecules constantly changing with every micro movement.

So what’s does all this have to do with anything?

I enjoy discussing trauma. It’s a shared experience of the human condition. Those movies and stories we enjoy where two strangers go through something together and come out the pother side friends or lovers? There’s a truth there. Trauma is a bond that ties.

Lets say you’re a body of water. You are made up of a lot of it anyway. So here you are, water balloon and all. Living your best life. You’ve been through trauma after trauma (starting with screaming coming in to the world), but for the moment, you’re adjusted. Your little water balloon self is calm and not sloshing. You’re stable and doing great.

Then a 20 pound bolder drops in to your life known as trauma.

If we slowed it down frame by frame we could watch it break the surface tension of the water. Then we’d see it dive beneath the water and with some sciencey stuff, it would cause the water to propel back well above the surface.

Thats the moment all hell breaks loose in your life. The moment you get the phone call at 2am. The moment you get the papers filed against you. The moment the news comes on. It breaks in to your life in a horrific way.

Then it eject shrapnel upward

Then when the surreal ness of the moment settles. When moments don’t seem like a lifetime any more, but start normalizing. The ripples of the event. The Disassociative disorder, the panic attacks, the ocd.

My Grandfathers Axe. The Stream. And you

So in the start of this apparently long ass musing, I talked to about my grandfathers axe.

Is something that has totally changed still the same?

Then we went on to stepping in to the same stream twice, as the stream is always changing.

Then we went on to trauma. Changing and displacing you.

So here is what I propose.

You, are you. And at the same time you are always changing. From birth you were named (insert your name here). You may have had a nick name, you may have changed what people call your, but you’re still the same. And you’re totally different.

Your a constantly changing stream, with changing cells, changing hairs, shedding dry skin, learning, growing, going through trauma, experiencing life at it’s best.

You’re a pool of water. Waiting on ripples to fade, as you wait for another rock to drop.

You’re both forever the same, and always changing.

Even when your entire life has been turned upside down and you don’t have any idea who you are, or what comes next. You are you.

And not only is that ok, it’s beyond the beauty of words