Your Racist Uncle (the many truths)
Without a doubt, it’s an interesting time in history right now. Everyone is very emotional (rightfully so, don’t worry, I’m not going to try to take you rage away from you).
What I’m going to ask you to do is going to be unpopular. I’m going to ask you, dear reader, to slow your breath. Center. And focus. In the midst of trauma it’s often hard to think productively about the trauma.
There are a lot of truths right now. Theres a lot of wrestling with heavy items. I want to share a couple with you.
This is an image flying around on facebook right now. It’s a very accurate representation of a lot of things. Leading from the bottom of the pyramid with small acts that people may feel are innocent, up to horrific acts, that most people (that is the hope) would disagree with.
Heres the rub.
If you’re old enough to remember 9/11, you remember the united uproar and cries for justice in which we wanted an enemy to push our collective anger on. We found one. We had a reason, which is still to this day hotly debated.
All through history we can see this. But often the hardest thing we can do it temper ourselves.
We don’t want to be tempered. We want justice. And we rightly should.
We denounce racism (rightfully so) in all of it’s forms (rightfully so)
But also, very similarly to 2016, we engage in battles on social media. With friends. With family. With loved ones.
We argue with everyone and anyone. And pick sides and camps.
If you say anything about riots being harmful you’re a racist.
If you are republican, you’re a racist.
Look. There are conversations to be had. But very few people have ever changed their minds by being yelled at.
Ask pro lifers and pro choicers. Ask believers and atheists. Ask Vegans and carnivores. Neither side has won this battle, despite both sides yelling, and even going so far as to injure the other side. Because that’s not how you win people.
The George Floyd video hit people. Hard. Much like the photos of the dogs and fire hoses attacking in Birmingham. But we know better now, because that obviously didnt do enough back then. Alabama had a law on the books until the year 2000 about interracial marriage (that still narrowly passed repeal).
Big Truth Bomb Here.
Real racists don’t mind being called racists. They would agree with you that they are. They would even probably try to teach you why they are right.
Your uncle, your aunt, your friend on facebook, the guy who you commented on his post yelling and screaming at him for not understanding something that you understand, well, that’s not going to go to change his mind.
I saw a twitter post
“I lost my aunt yesterday, she didnt die, she’s just racist”
This was probably either
a twitter joke or
someone who wrote a family member off, for a range of possibilities of which I’m guessing going to klan rallies wasnt one, but having a thought process that doesnt fit the current mood is probably a good guess
We know these things aren’t right. Systemic racism needs to change. Stop and search and stop and frisk needs to be done away with. Monuments to the past (that really weren’t monuments to the past, but much rather threats to the future) need to come down. There are systemic changes that need to be made.
Subtle racism and the acceptance of it needs to change, but (and yes, i hate that I just said but to this) this is not done like tearing down statues. We can’t tear down people. It does not work. We have to educate, inform, and love them in to a knowledge.
And it’s harder, because it requires us to listen, and care. And it doesnt feel as good, because it doesn’t quench the rage.
I don’t think we can afford to get this wrong, again. It can’t be swept under the rug.
And I also don’t think that we can make an enemy of everyone and continue to polarize everyone.
I don’t have answers. I’m learning as I go, and I’m willing to 2 weeks from now accept that this post is 100% wrong if I’m presented with more conflicting information. And I do understand that, I am seeing this from a very limited perspective and my cultural view.
And on top of it, I’m not good at conversations and people. But that’s usually how I start.
“Hey, you know, I’m not really good at talking about stuff like this and I don’t know how to begin. But I feel what you may have just said could be very hurtful, would you be willing to listen to why I think so?”
And if people don’t want to, then I’m not going to argue with them, because that won’t change their mind. And you know, if they see I respect them, then maybe that opens a door.
Still looking and searching for answers.
With love and complexity
~Wriddyl