The (Em)(a)pathy Pandemic
I feel like maybe there is something wrong with me.
I’m an empathetic cryer. My first memory of it was watching a movie that no one probably remembers any more. Does that mean I’m the only one holding it alive in thought? Willing it to stay in existence by remembering it? I’m probably thinking too much on it.
Anyway, it was called The Dog Who Stopped the War. Dumb movie. If I were to watch it now I’d probably laugh at myself. At least I can do that. It was about a group of kids who had an escalating snowball fight. Things kept getting worse. Until of course, the dog that everyone loved, died. Holy shit this was a kids movie right? I sobbed uncontrollably for at least an hour. The acting probably wasn’t even that good. But I was able to put myself in those kids shoes. I could feel how bad it hurt, and it wretched my soul.
I hate funerals. I can’t stand them. I don’t like hospitals. Grief and pain lingers in the air, infectiously waiting to be inhaled.
The plus side is I feel joy the same way. So I try to stick to joy, as it’s easier to cope with. And it sucks because a lot of times I put my needs ahead of other people because I don’t want to deal with the catching the feelings of sorrow.
#fvckthefourth is trending on twitter right now
Actually, in America, there is a whole lot of shit that is trending right now.
Some people are saying it’s their “Constitutional right” to not wear a mask. I dont think the constitution means what they think it means.
As I take a look around at the place I live. For the last 4 years it seems to be an absolute shit show (dear reader, I did some research and thankfully a shit show and a donkey show are in no way related). To the point that when I’m talking to people outside the US, I often feel the need to apologize for who we are and what we do. I full well understand that there would be people who say “fuck that, we don’t need to apologize for shit” while simultaneously sticking a bottle rocket in their ass, shotgunning a beer, and screaming America.
Whats wrong with this place?
I’m also not so naive to think that it’s this place though.
I remember tripping and seeing the Rage Against the Machine album cover with the monk lighting himself on fire. A friend at the time took the stance of “that was really stupid of the guy, it didn’t do anything”. But to me, I knew it did. I knew I wouldn’t be the same. I knew that there was something so wrong that this person had decided that the exclamation point he would try to use, would be himself.
Why does it ever need to go so far?
A lot of us speak the same language, but we never hear each other. If we hear each other, we don’t listen. If we listen, we don’t care.
Apathy is the lack of interest or concern.
I think we have a lot of apathy. And we’re lacking a lot of empathy. As someone who feels so much, it’s not something I can understand. Which is ironic, because feeling often helps me to understand.
Remember that dog that stopped the war? It’s often so easy for us to step in to those stories. We allow ourselves to be sucked in to stories. We sit down (often half watching if you are like me), and we get pulled in to a story. We see the viewpoints from the different perspectives.
We don’t do that in life.
#fvckthefourth is trending on twitter. You’re in one of two camps. You agree or disagree. But do you ever ask why?
I see people responding with “Fuck you, get out of here then”
Never, why do you feel like that? Tell me your story so that I may understand you better.
The wearing face masks fight. The police brutality fight.
I advertised the video I made for Dear Mr President (it’s all the same) on Facebook. It was definitely one hell of a social experiment. I constantly had people telling me that the feelings the black American veteran had in 1942 weren’t valid then, and the feeling that millions of Americans have currently are invalid and that racism and police brutality do not exist.
It’s easy to think things don’t exist when you don’t see them.
Theres a saying “if one person tells you that you’re a horse, they are crazy. If two people tell you that you’re a horse, it’s a conspiracy. If three people tell you that you're a horse, you better go buy some hay".”
At some point we need to trust people to tell us about their experiences and be able to listen.
It’s hard because, and I’m not a conspiracy theorist here I promise, there are a lot of really smart people who understand the power of story, and they get paid a lot of money to manipulate peoples feelings. Just watch any commercial and you can come to a full comprehension of this. Now super impose that over ideology.
Politics suck. It’s a bunch of people manipulating you for your vote. On all sides.
But we can’t default to apathy either. It doesn’t work. Imagine if you lived in a home where no one cared to listen to you. Any time you brought up a concern or care, expressed how you were wounded, said there is a problem, it all fell on deaf ears.
I think apathy and empathy are viral. We can catch feelings. We can also catch the ability to not feel. and as messy as it is to feel, and as easy as it is to be manipulated, it’s imperative to strike a good balance. To at minimum, stop and consider what people are saying. Listening because listening is an act that provides human dignity to another person. But it requires not being triggered. And it goes on all sides.
What do we do if we don’t stop the escalation? How far do we take it? What will be the dog that makes us finally stop and mourn together. To make us question, what the hell have we done?
What the hell have we done?